England
By T-N Soccer Fanatic Stan Gullible
England Soccer Team Flag
As Worn By Idiots
England look set to bow out of the World Cup in 2006 at least with a couple of wins under their belt.
Sven and his team breathed a huge sigh of relief after the seeded draw landed them a couple of amateur teams for practice. They also face Sweden but the pressure is right off and England fans everywhere can celebrate entry into the next round right now.
The draw is guaranteed to keep Sven in the post beyond 2006 unless another bunch of mugs can be persuaded to part with more Mickey Mouse money for him.
Of course, you can't comment on football without mentioning Beckham. When asked for a comment he mentioned the words; lads, stick, fans, win, with the usual inane grin on his boat. Beckham will now go on to make a fortune telling all the rags how we can win it, and how he will lead the team to glory. He can keep this up until the knockout rounds then skulk off back to Spain without so much as a 'scuse me madam.
2006 sees England short in the blubbing to the camera area, though there is still time for some of the 'lads' to develop an authentic looking whinge with accompanying tears.
T-N asks all fans to get really excited and build up their hopes way beyond normal expectations, that way we and our media colleagues can make a fortune on stories of either glorious or pathetic defeat. The headline writers are dusting off their previous best efforts as I type.
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