January 2009 News Shorts
Blair on Gaza - "It was like that when I got here"
Credit Crunch Tightens - pensioners throughout the UK are tightening their belts as their money doesn't stretch so far, and their savings have become a folly. This has led to good news for cat food produces but bad news for salmon and caviar suppliers. T-N nutritionist, Crispin Lite, says cat food ain't so bad if you pick out the bits of mice and starlings first.
T-N employees return to work after a long Xmas lay off, most have used it as an extended holiday, others got wrecked on cheap booze and turkey drumsticks.
Latoyah Jackson denies her arse now has a separate time zone to the rest of her body.
Alistair Darling set to give British banking institutions a further injection of borrowed money, would you credit it?
Homeless to be given jobs building second homes for bankers so they can spend their 'bonus' money.
Real UK News from Around The Country....
CRUNCH YOUR CREDIT!
