Malaysian Malaise
Medics in Malaysia have teamed up with nanotechnologists to produce in-situ miniaturisation of the human brain. The technology previously used to bring us millions of transistors on a single chip, is now being used to reduce the brain in size within the skull.Doctor Xing Xang Gulli Gulli, head of faculties at Gua Musang research facility, told me thru an interpreter that the reduction process itself had been a complete success. Their next challenge would be to fill the remaining gap with more grey matter, rather than the gel-like fluid currently deployed.
British brain expert, Professor Hugo Thalamus of Kings College, said that the data produced so far appeared inconclusive.
He went on to explain that the brains constituent parts of large and small cerebellum and brain stem did seem to be intact, however there was evidence of a loss of elasticity of the visual cortex which could cause impaired sight. Also, he cast doubt on whether the cranial cavity could be filled by expanding the miniaturised brain. The brain itself, he added, weighs around 1.4kg in the normal human (2.1kg in British Cabinet Ministers - due to the denser matter) and controls around 97% of the central nervous system. The flow of electronic pulses through, say the medulla oblongata or hypothalamus could be severely restricted causing untold problems, even if the brain was extended.I asked spokesperson for the Royal College of Physicians, Sir Royston Forceps, to comment on Malaysian claims that, because the brain was substantially reduced in size, the chances of developing brain cancer, tumours, epilepsy or Alzheimer’s would also be exponentially reduced, the professor replied “bollocks, and in any case even if it all fails who cares, we bury our mistakes”.
Last Updated::: 02-Sep-2006 19:08
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