By Shopping Correspondent Lottie Dosh
Sale of the Century yesterday
It's the greatest sale of the century this Christmas with bargains galore! Why buy a CD for £5.00 when you can buy the shop for a quid? Don't fancy it, then why not buy the car of your dreams for the same money.
Yes, everything is up for grabs; including my house, contents and car. Thanks to the global recession (don't mention cock-up by Labour, I mentioned it once to a Tory MP and 20 anti-terrorist cops did him over!) everything must go.
Not even PoundStretcher can match the current bargains being offered, so don't delay, grab a super prezzie for the person in your life.
There has never been a better time to be a sheikh, an oligarch, or a mega rich shit for brains footballer.
All must go so get your greedy little hands on this lot.
P.S. Hot tip, wait until a week before the general election and you will be able to get Wales for a Pavarotti (a tenor; tenner - Ed).